Let's Talk About Being Broken

 This year has had some amazing ups and some super low downs.  Today, I want to talk about the downs.  For the first time in my life I am now on a regular dose of pain medication because I have been fighting back pain that I have not been able to get any relief from...

I am active.

I love to dance.

I love to move.

I love to live a super active life.

…and having chronic pain that makes me not want to get out of bed….well, that sucks (my Momma would say that is a curse word, but I think it is ok to use it in this context).  I had high aspirations of what I was going to achieve from a physical standpoint this year and my first set back this year was a nasty calf muscle tear that resulted in blood pooling all around my leg and me not being able to walk very well for six weeks.  After recovering from that, I started slowly trying to work out again and then I started having some pretty bad back pain.  This has happened on and off since about 2018 and usually I just work through it.  This time it was different.  There was no 'working through it'.  My leg burned on a regular basis from something going on with my nerves and I found myself crying in pain and literally laying in the bed for hours not wanting to get up because laying down hurt and I knew standing up would hurt more. 

I went to the doctor and he casually said I had scoliosis.  I was shook because I had an X-ray and MRI just a couple of years ago and at that time I had a stick strait spine.  Now I have a spine like an S?  What in the ever loving world is going on? A new MRI revealed what they are calling 'degenerative changes' but because all doctors seem super busy it will be a month before I can see a specialist to try to formulate a plan to start addressing this and trying to get me on some path of recovery or normalcy if I do in fact have a crooked spine now.  

I feel to young to hang up the towel and to stop living and to accept this level of pain and discomfort will be my norm. I do not want to give up when I have so many goals I want to achieve.  I know this is a battle that many people face and I wish I had answers.  I pray I find them, and if I do, I will share them because chronic pain and the loose of quality of life is not anything I want anyone else to have to go through.  

Thank you for listening and God Bless.